That's The Reason

its not to say that i object
but its always been my pity party
(and i will cry if i want to)
You're not required to attend

but here You are once again
dancing slowly next to this brick wall
looking pretty, full of life and sparkle

putting away your worries
putting away your cares
hiding it in the Moonlight behind your hair
like You don't belong here

I Was Never Yours

Drowning in a glass of spilled milk
i was never Your mess to clean up
but i dripped and dribbled
insistently coated Your skin with the slick, silent liquid

There was too much
and soon You were drowning too

Carelessly pouring, sliding
slipping, dripping, forcing
into a glass too small to contain such Disaster
a container too limited to restrain such Catastrophe

and the Moonlight shone for the two of us
the sun had eyes only for You, its Daughter
the rain only added fire to Your heart
resisting the current of that unrestricted river

The College Nightmare

College.

I feel like after saying that its necessary to add "The Final Frontier", because honestly, even being launched out an airlock or finding out that Darth Vader is your Father isn't as terrifying as realizing that your next decision will probably be one of the most important you will make in your entire life.

Maybe even the most important.

If I said I wasn't scared, I would be an awful liar.

Junior year was really rough for me, academically as well as emotionally. I finished out the year with a 2.8, I was really hoping for a 3.0. Honestly, I've never been more disappointed with myself as a person.

But anyway. What do I want to do with my life?
I've known since the 3rd grade, with only minor adjustments when I reached High School.

Now This Is A Story All About How...

Because nothing really eventful has happened (considering this blog is about my Senior Year, which hasn't started yet), let me give you the downlow really quick.

In Bullet Form! :D

•  
• Yesterday I drove down one of the scariest roads in Virginia and didn't die (ONE LANE OMG)
• My Summer Reading is finally starting to get interesting. Owen Meany picks up after about page 100 something. I won't spoil it for y'all.
• I thought that Moonlight had fallen off the face of the earth
• I got my hair cut again
• I finally deposited my paycheck
• I'm getting my Senior Pictures taken tomorrow
• I'm going roller skating with my other best friend Zukii (woo more codenames!)
• I had nightmares two nights in a row
• I won a Discus Award

Today's Shattered Star: Things That Hurt

So I was cruising around the internet, bored out of my mind as usual when I saw something one of my RL friends had posted.

You know when you see something that's not meant to be hurtful, or even directed at you specifically but it just

tears your heart in half?

And its totally irrational, but you just can't help it? Yeah, that's me right now.